The largest Civic Type R club forum

Established in 2002 it brings together people from all over the world to discuss their one love of Type R's.

Anything to make us laugh! Keep it clean (Yeah Right!)...
User avatar
By Aid1987
#3811287
I heard about this after watching a recent episode of QI.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/cr/B004PX ... f=mw_dp_cr

This is one of my favourites... :roflmao:

Review titled: "Apocalyse Now"
Guys less than 24 hours after eating just a third of a packet of these and all hell has broken loose. I had read previous reviews but thought they had been severely exaggerated for comedic effect. However, I was soon to receive the rudest of awakenings as the truth about the Gummy bears was revealed to me. And just to reiteratethere was no disclaimer on the packet so let this be your disclaimer. It began with a quiet grumbling barely audible to the human ear but the tremors I felt with it were filled with aggression and malice. I clenched my cheeks together as I was well aware of the utter devestation that was to follow. The abdominal cramping felt as though an iron fist had found itself wrapped around my intestine and kidneys and was relentlessly squeezing the life energy out of them. A friend and I had stayed together. We had both eaten the bears and spent the night with flatulence that ranged from uncomfortable to downright disgusting. We had created the most pungent of odours that woke me out of my sleep on 2 occasions. I sprang out of bed as fast as my clenched buttock and throbbing bowels would let me. My stomach had waged a war against me. A war it was sure to win. I felt like I was isle of wight and my stomach was North Korea launching a nuclear attack from which i would not be able to recover. As I approached the toilet I was engulfed in the foulest of aromas that would make even a raw sewage factory smell like a bag of candy floss. I was running out of timeand fast! There was no time for formalities and i was rid of my shorts in under a second. As the heavens opened its not so pearly gates and the thunderous bellowing of the angel Gabriels trumpet boomed, the chocolate rains poured down. It was chaos. Pure chaos. (Nutella sprang to mind). The pits of hells fires had opened in my bowels and my toilet was being burned to ashes by the ferocity of my flaming faeces. I called out to my friend for a bucket or a bag as the urge to regurgitate began to manifest itself and I had to make a choice. Do I vomit on the floor or do I turn around and vomit in the toilet whilst defecating on the glorious white tiles? I was beat. I had succumbed to the crippling pains and the tyrannical commands of my now omnipotent stomach the dictator.

As tears streamed down my face I questioned my existence. I questioned the existence of God; If there were a God, he would not allow such suffering! I remained on my newly soiled toilet for a turmultuous 2 hours! In which I experienced a spate of emotions until finally collapsing in a heap on the toilet floor, my wounded buttocks in the air. It was by far the most emotionally and physically draining 2 hours of my life and I would never wish such an experience on even my worst of enemies. I was dehydrated after losing so much fluids and had to sleep after downing 2 lucozades and 4 sachets of dioralyte. Please Please Please heed my warning! These bears are not for human consumption and have extreme laxative effects.
User avatar
By J@mes
#3811416
10/10 would read again. But are they actually haribo? I'm curious and really want to try it :lol:
User avatar
By sparkie
#3811494
Not Gummy Bears but I can vouch for the horrendous effects sugar free gums have in your insides. Few years back now I was in 1 of these pick n mix shops and was shovelling the gums in and licking my lips thinking ooh can't wait. Not once did I think to look at what these things contained, the brighter and juicier looking the better. As I went to pay for these the woman at the counter said "you do know most of your sweets are sugar free". Strange comment I thought but what the hell their gums, who gives a ..... After tucking into this bag and having my fill I continued on my drive home. guys I kid you not, not even an hour had passed and my stomach started to make the most God awful noise I have ever heard, swiftly followed by a horrible feeling in my arse. I honestly thought my insides we're going to fall out. Holding back and not following thru only made the cramps worse. By the time I got home I barely made it to the pan and Jesus I have never had the runs like it in my life. Sitting on the pan my stomach would make a horrible gurgling noise swiftly followed by my arse making exactly the same noise as it tries to expell the poisons from inside me. Days this lasted for, days I tell you. Never again. Think sugar free polos actually have a warning on them about them having a laxative effect. Worst week of my life without a doubt.
long long title how many chars? lets see 123 ok more? yes 60

We have created lots of YouTube videos just so you can achieve [...]

Another post test yes yes yes or no, maybe ni? :-/

The best flat phpBB theme around. Period. Fine craftmanship and [...]

Do you need a super MOD? Well here it is. chew on this

All you need is right here. Content tag, SEO, listing, Pizza and spaghetti [...]

Lasagna on me this time ok? I got plenty of cash

this should be fantastic. but what about links,images, bbcodes etc etc? [...]