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By macman123
#297931
OK I saw some people were struggling with this, so I've compiled an a-z "how to guide"

a) Find Petrol station (Some people recommend Shell, due to the additional price and the fact Schumacher appears on adverts of their Optimax product)

b) Find an available pump, preferably on your left hand side ENSURE the pump is not black (you will find lots of VW's around these colour pumps!)

c) Pull up next to your chosen pump leaving 6" to 1ft of space between the left of your ctr and the small raised (generally brick) platform at the base of the pump itself

d) To the right and infront of the drivers seat you will see a small lever with a picture resmbling a petrol pump on it. Pull this, and a flap on the lefthand side of the car will open (You may need to pull this multiple times before the flap opens, to avoid embarrassment you can use the passenger side wing mirror to check the flap has finally openend)

e) Ensure your mobile is switched off, and you have extinguished any cigarettes/cigars/ pipes

f) Get out of the car (it is highly likely that the petrol station is "Self service")

g) Walk round to the now open flap.

h) Inside the flap you will find a small cap, unscrew this

j) IMPORTANT on the cap you unscrewed, you will see a short plastic cord with a small sphere on the end. Pass the cord through the small cut out groove in the plastic molded to the inside of the flap. With the sphere above the groove, and the cap below it.

k) Lift nozzle from the pump. (Wait for numbers on pump to read 0.00)

l) Put the shiny end of the nozzle in the hole exposed by removing cap.

m) Squeeze and hold trigger on nozzle

n) After a short while you hear a clicking sound, and the nozzle will slightly jolt in your hand (If you had been silly enough to stop as soon as the light came on, the pump will read around 39 litres)

p) Replace nozzle in pump

q) Replace cap

r) Close flap

s) LOCK Car (This stage is optional if you have passengers)

t) Go into the small building, the door is normally next to a large collection of tabloid papers, and half dead flowers

u) Proceed toward spotty teenager behind the cash register.

v) If you have the FLASH upgrade, take a big roll of £20s out of your pocket, and hand over a couple to the teenager. Otherwise take out the badly worn piece of plastic from your wallet.

w) Wait for the guy to give you some small coins / make you sign a scrappy piece of paper

x) Leave shop

y) unlock car (if applicable)

z) Get in, and drive away (VTEC is optional)

I hope this helps everyone

Si ;-)


(Big thanks to Zeff for the inspiration)
User avatar
By zeffania
#297936
HEHE :lol:

Cheers Si :D
User avatar
By dotty
#297958
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: might have to print that out theres no way i can remmeber all that :o
User avatar
By zeffania
#298009
macman123 wrote:
zeffania wrote:Heres some extra help with pictures

Image
Image

Here is the index if you cant see it

http://zeff.fotopic.net/c131275.html
Nice one !!

Image
How did you manage that if my fotopic doesnt work?
User avatar
By macman123
#298029
zeffania wrote: How did you manage that if my fotopic doesnt work?
Just call me Paul Daniels ;-)
User avatar
By zeffania
#298038
macman123 wrote:
zeffania wrote: How did you manage that if my fotopic doesnt work?
Just call me Paul Daniels ;-)
Please tell, Fotopic seems to do that alot and I wondered how. Is it anything to do with your plus net account. I am with them but I havent bothered setting up a site or anything
User avatar
By 2004TypeR
#298049
I never knew there was a small hook to hang the cap off when filling, I always leave it dangling!
User avatar
By B@llsie
#298050
me too!
User avatar
By SR-71
#298056
haha..some ppl have much too much time on their hands....Btw, nice instructions though, wouldn't go amiss inside that already humongously thick Honda manual!

a few things:

1 - where is letter 'o' and 'i' ?? surely one wouldn't confuse them with numbers/license plate letters. I mean, 'q' is there isn't it! :wink:

2 - you forgot the bit between 'n' and 'p' which I believe is 'o':

o) Check price going up. If you want to refill till you have a full tank then stop at n). If not stop earlier. Shake nozzle before pulling out as there will be a few drips of petrol that will run nicely down the car's side....and we don't want that now do we? Plus we want to get every little penny's worth of expensive petrol that we can get in this facist-tax-ridden-thieving-governmental country!

o ctd.) If petrol drips, look behind you by the side of the pumps. There should be a rubbish bin with optional water/sponge/clear-marigolds/green paper wipes. Grab some wipes (if any) and clean petrol on side of car. careful not to blow nose into same wipes!

v) ....also hand spotty teenager OPTIMAX/NECTAR/TESCO etc. points card, look behind you at other customer and with an arrogant smirk pretend that you have over a million points on it. (works best if the person behind you is a chav/towny/kev. etc

z) ... PUT ON SEATBELT...optional for <04 owners, annoying if not done for >04 owners ! :wink: Do a burnout on the forecourt if the teller p!$$ed you off or if you ended up dripping petrol down the side of the car or if the cost of petrol was >65p/litre :wink:
User avatar
By SR-71
#298070
2004TypeR wrote:I never knew there was a small hook to hang the cap off when filling, I always leave it dangling!
Everyday's a school day huh? Took me a few days before I realised too...thought to myself " what is the point of this little piece of plastic ball on the cap."....everything (usually) is there for a reason :D
User avatar
By zeffania
#298073
Dealer showed me when he filled it up when I picked the car up :D
User avatar
By macman123
#298075
SR-71 wrote:haha..some ppl have much too much time on their hands....Btw, nice instructions though, wouldn't go amiss inside that already humongously thick Honda manual!

a few things:

1 - where is letter 'o' and 'i' ?? surely one wouldn't confuse them with numbers/license plate letters. I mean, 'q' is there isn't it! :wink:

2 - you forgot the bit between 'n' and 'p' which I believe is 'o':

o) Check price going up. If you want to refill till you have a full tank then stop at n). If not stop earlier. Shake nozzle before pulling out as there will be a few drips of petrol that will run nicely down the car's side....and we don't want that now do we? Plus we want to get every little penny's worth of expensive petrol that we can get in this facist-tax-ridden-thieving-governmental country!

o ctd.) If petrol drips, look behind you by the side of the pumps. There should be a rubbish bin with optional water/sponge/clear-marigolds/green paper wipes. Grab some wipes (if any) and clean petrol on side of car. careful not to blow nose into same wipes!

v) ....also hand spotty teenager OPTIMAX/NECTAR/TESCO etc. points card, look behind you at other customer and with an arrogant smirk pretend that you have over a million points on it. (works best if the person behind you is a chav/towny/kev. etc

z) ... PUT ON SEATBELT...optional for >04 owners, annoying if not done for >04 owners ! :wink: Do a burnout on the forecourt if the teller p!$$ed you off or if you ended up dripping petrol down the side of the car or if the cost of petrol was >65p/litre :wink:
Bran,

o and i are left out on purpose, as they are easily confused with 0 and 1. I felt it was important not to confuse further people who struggle to even realise what the hook thing was on the petrol flap ;-)

Maybe Stu should make this a sticky, and we can incorporate yours and any future suggestions into this. I'm sure it will inevitably become one of the sites most useful guides :twisted:


Si
User avatar
By macman123
#298119
zeffania wrote:
macman123 wrote:
zeffania wrote: How did you manage that if my fotopic doesnt work?
Just call me Paul Daniels ;-)
Please tell, Fotopic seems to do that alot and I wondered how. Is it anything to do with your plus net account. I am with them but I havent bothered setting up a site or anything
Yes mate, if you are running XP, just type in at the start>run dialog ftp://ftp.plus.net , enter your username password (same as the one you use on the member logon on their web portal) and drag any file into the htdocs folder.

Then just link it up ;-)


HTH
Si
User avatar
By zeffania
#299014
macman123 wrote:
zeffania wrote:
macman123 wrote:
zeffania wrote: How did you manage that if my fotopic doesnt work?
Just call me Paul Daniels ;-)
Please tell, Fotopic seems to do that alot and I wondered how. Is it anything to do with your plus net account. I am with them but I havent bothered setting up a site or anything
Yes mate, if you are running XP, just type in at the start>run dialog ftp://ftp.plus.net , enter your username password (same as the one you use on the member logon on their web portal) and drag any file into the htdocs folder.

Then just link it up ;-)


HTH
Si
Cool, cheers :D

Like this I hope

[img]ftp://[email protected]/htdocs/P ... ew1net.jpg[/img]
User avatar
By seasiders
#299239
With reference to "H" it says...Inside the flap you'll find a small cap,unscrew this.

BUT....it doesn't say which way!!!!!

I'm now driving round with the light on because i don't want to turn it the wrong way,please advise before i run out of fuel :(
User avatar
By Nomis
#299249
no-one seems to have mentioned that you should position the nozzle so that the tip points to a point just below and behind the rear sill - this speeds up refuelling +++ It is not the size, but how you use it

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