a) Find Petrol station (Some people recommend Shell, due to the additional price and the fact Schumacher appears on adverts of their Optimax product)
b) Find an available pump, preferably on your left hand side ENSURE the pump is not black (you will find lots of VW's around these colour pumps!)
c) Pull up next to your chosen pump leaving 6" to 1ft of space between the left of your ctr and the small raised (generally brick) platform at the base of the pump itself
d) To the right and infront of the drivers seat you will see a small lever with a picture resmbling a petrol pump on it. Pull this, and a flap on the lefthand side of the car will open (You may need to pull this multiple times before the flap opens, to avoid embarrassment you can use the passenger side wing mirror to check the flap has finally openend)
e) Ensure your mobile is switched off, and you have extinguished any cigarettes/cigars/ pipes
f) Get out of the car (it is highly likely that the petrol station is "Self service")
g) Walk round to the now open flap.
h) Inside the flap you will find a small cap, unscrew this
j) IMPORTANT on the cap you unscrewed, you will see a short plastic cord with a small sphere on the end. Pass the cord through the small cut out groove in the plastic molded to the inside of the flap. With the sphere above the groove, and the cap below it.
k) Lift nozzle from the pump. (Wait for numbers on pump to read 0.00)
l) Put the shiny end of the nozzle in the hole exposed by removing cap.
m) Squeeze and hold trigger on nozzle
n) After a short while you hear a clicking sound, and the nozzle will slightly jolt in your hand (If you had been silly enough to stop as soon as the light came on, the pump will read around 39 litres)
p) Replace nozzle in pump
q) Replace cap
r) Close flap
s) LOCK Car (This stage is optional if you have passengers)
t) Go into the small building, the door is normally next to a large collection of tabloid papers, and half dead flowers
u) Proceed toward spotty teenager behind the cash register.
v) If you have the FLASH upgrade, take a big roll of £20s out of your pocket, and hand over a couple to the teenager. Otherwise take out the badly worn piece of plastic from your wallet.
w) Wait for the guy to give you some small coins / make you sign a scrappy piece of paper
x) Leave shop
y) unlock car (if applicable)
z) Get in, and drive away (VTEC is optional)
I hope this helps everyone
Si
(Big thanks to Zeff for the inspiration)